I had a phonecall with Silkie today. It was nice to hear her voice for a long time :3 We talked about my next weeks exams, and we just started to talk about our life and future plans. It really does suck at times xP Well, my dad always keep telling me, that I´m still young 22 years old, and I should enjoy it instead of worrying, and always adds a line my grandma uses to say: "Children will find their place in this world eventually"
I do think about (and worry about) future a lot but the funny thing is, that many things I learned from Fruits Basket are actually helped a lot. Like when Shigure-san told Tooru, that if future is like a mountain of dirty laundry, you can´t only watch how big it is and worry about that how would you ever be able to finish it. You need instead to wash few clothes first, and they all would be done eventually.
Still about 2 years ago, when I graduated, I had no idea what I´d really like to do, or what would I like to do with my life. It took a while, but now I know, that I want to be a graphic designer. It´s hard to get in university without high school papers, but I keep trying. If I´m not going to make it this year either, then I need to find a job and just live my life. But that is certain that I´m going to leave my parents house. Not like that, I don´t like it home, but I just have this feeling that it´s time to go. Like a bird leaving it's mother behind. I´ve been working really hard for these last four months, and I´m going to work at summer too. 6000 euros is a good start for my life. With school life or without it. And like my good friend once said: "It doesn´t matter how you live your life. You just have to survive and be happy." wow, I know a lot wise people xD And I agree with her. Even my cousin, who turned 30 this year is really nice and happy person, even though she has no children, she met her boyfriend about six months ago, and she had for years only high school papers until she graduaded to cook two years ago. It wasn´t a life everybody would dream of as a kids, but she didn't regret it. And whenever I feel sad, I can always think abou the fact, that there are some 40 year old people, who still live with their parents and haven't done nothing in their entire life. I'm not going to sink that low. Ever. I keep fighting, and try my best to become happy~